“If You’ve Ever Had a Coach Play Favorites, You Know Exactly How This Feels”
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If you have ever played a sport, you have probably heard this many times, work hard, and you will be rewarded. Practice more and make a better effort. You will earn your spot.
What happens when that is not true?
What happens when your coach already has their favorites and no matter what you do you are stuck on the sidelines? Some people might say coaches are not playing favorites; they are just choosing the best player to win the games. Others think that favoritism can actually motivate athletes to work even harder. When players feel like things are unfair, they usually do the opposite and make them lose motivation.
Favoritism is something many athletes deal with even if they do not always talk about it. It is frustrating, unfair, and honestly it can ruin the experience of playing a sport. Favoritism does not just affect playing time; it messes an athlete's confidence, motivation, and even how the team gets along.
Coaches who play favorites are not just being unfair; they are hurting the team. Favoritism in sports is harmful because it lowers motivation, damages confidence, and hurts overall team performance.
I have seen this happen. On my team there were players who showed up early who worked hard and really tried to improve. They listened to feedback supported teammates and did everything coaches usually say they want, and No matter what they did they barely got chances to play.
At the time other players seemed to get constant opportunities even when they were not performing well. It started to feel like decisions were not based on effort or performance. After a while it stopped feeling like work mattered. It felt like everything had already been decided. Coach gave a preseason meeting, making it clear that hard work and effort will give you the spot on the field. After understanding that is not true, it is never a good feeling.
At first, it was just frustrating. You start wondering what you are doing wrong. You try harder in practice hoping someone will notice. You push yourself more thinking, maybe this time it will be different. But when nothing changes, that frustration turns into something; you just stop caring.
Like, why give 100% if it is not going to matter?
And it does not just affect one person; it slowly starts spreading to the team.
I have seen this happen on my own team. When certain players kept getting picked on no matter what, other players started putting in less effort because to them it felt pointless. Over time it did not just affect one person; it was like a poison spreading to the whole team.
This directly affects how the team performs, especially if multiple players feel this way it can weaken the entire team, not just a few of the players.
Research from the Harvard Business Review shows that favoritism lowers morale and makes people less motivated. This matters because when players lose motivation, they stop putting in the same level of effort, which directly affects how the team performs. If multiple players feel this way, it can weaken the entire team, not just individuals. When people feel like things are not fair, they stop putting in effort. In sports, that is a problem because teams rely on trust. Players need to believe that their effort matters.
It is not about effort; it is about confidence. Athletes need confidence to play well. When a coach constantly favors players, it sends a message to everyone else. You are not good enough.
Studies from the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that athletes who feel unfairly treated by coaches often have lower confidence and perform worse. This shows that favoritism does not just affect feelings; it has a real impact on performance because confidence is a major part of success in sports. When athletes lose confidence, they are less likely to take risks, play aggressively, or perform at their best. So, favoritism does not just feel bad; it actually affects how players perform.
Honestly, sports are supposed to build confidence and not destroy them.
Favoritism also hurts team chemistry. Of working together players start comparing themselves to each other. People get frustrated. It creates tension. Teammates might stop supporting each other or even start resenting to one another.
That is not what a team is supposed to be.
Good teams are built on trust and fairness. Players need to believe that if they work hard, they will get a chance. When that belief is gone, the team falls apart.
So, what can be done about it?
First, coaches need to be held accountable. Favoritism is not a small issue; it is a leadership problem. Coaches are supposed to set the tone for fairness and respect. Organizations like the National Federation of State High School Associations say coaches are expected to treat players fairly.
Second, the problem is that when coaches are not always clear about their decisions, coaches should be clearer about their decisions. Players should not have to guess why they are not playing. Simple things like giving feedback can make a difference and help players understand what they need to improve.
Third players should have a way to give feedback. A lot of favoritism goes unchecked because athletes feel like they cannot speak up. Creating a way for players to share concerns could help fix problems earlier.
At the end of the day sports are supposed to be about growth, teamwork, and effort. They are meant to teach lessons that go beyond the game like discipline, fairness, and resilience. When favoritism takes over, those lessons get replaced with frustration and doubt.
No athlete should feel like their hard work does not matter.
Because the truth is it should.
Every player deserves a fair shot.
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